BLACK ROCK CITY — After spending a week rejecting capitalism, hierarchy and money in the Nevada desert, thousands of Burners are preparing to return to the Default World, where they will immediately resume fighting for enhanced control over all three.
The annual transition from Burn to Default World has traditionally involved showering, blowing up Grass Valley and Reno with ketamine-fueled afterparties, and getting caught up on what the bots running their portfolio companies have been doing in their absence. This year, however, Burners have committed to fully integrating their ecstatic visions and cosmic downloads on the playa by stepping up surveillance capitalism efforts and expanding real estate portfolios with unprecedented aggression.
“We spent the entire week building a temporary society based on radical inclusion, gifting and communal effort,” said one Burner while waiting for a $60 airport sandwich at SFO. “Now I'm ready to go back to my startup and manifest greater market share using the abundance codes that I channeled in the orgy dome.”
When asked what he does for work in the default world, the burner answered that he is independently wealthy since his great grandfather was a copper baron.
Many Burners are also expected to resume their blind pursuit of bulk asset acquisition by attending venture-capital networking events, negotiating nine-figure performance bonuses on their hedge fund plays. and complaining about homeless people in San Francisco.
“I realized out there that money doesn't matter,” said another participant, loading a $50,000 art installation into a $120,000 custom Cyber Truck. “So whether I have $0 or $1,000,000,000 to my name is irrelevant, as long as I can winter in Gstaad.”
Meanwhile, several camps have reportedly begun planning next year's theme: Radical Redistribution of Other People's Wealth.