WASHINGTON — The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it will hold a public hearing September 14th on the potential future therapeutic use of psychedelic drugs, following what agency officials described as a startling discovery: Americans have apparently been taking various psychedelics en masse for quite some time.
“We were under the impression this was still mostly theoretical,” said an FDA spokesperson. “Then someone showed us Instagram.”
The September hearing will examine how psychedelic drugs including Psilocybin, Ibogaine, 5-MeO-DMT, and other compounds could potentially be used therapeutically in supervised settings orchestrated by the same state apparatus that has been blatantly lying and violently criminalizing people for accessing them for the last 55 years.
According to sources familiar with the agency’s preparations, FDA officials were particularly surprised to learn that psychedelic use has already expanded well beyond university laboratories and carefully controlled clinical trials into an every day cnsumer market that’s low-key lit and which has not contributed in any significant way to a public health crisis unlike the nutrient deficient food and digital slot machine social media algorithms that have been practically forced upon the population.
Millions of Americans have reportedly been consuming psychedelic mushrooms, while ketamine clinics, underground facilitators, retreats, churches, wellness centers and an increasingly sophisticated psychedelic gray market have been operating for years while the federal government has stalled out in its feeble attempts to organize another directionless advisory committees on the subject of the potential future use of psychedelics in therapy.
“We’re not saying people should be doing psychedelics,” the spokesperson clarified. “We’re saying they should be doing them while we overcharge and underserve them.”
The agency is expected to spend much of the hearing determining how psychedelic therapy might be safely standardized, monitored and monetized for the billionaire class so they can buy more real estate and jets to compensate for their profligate heirs dying of ennui-driven opiate overdoses.
Officials are also reportedly considering whether “set and setting” can be converted into a standardized FDA form.
A final question remains unresolved:
Can ego death be covered by insurance?