LAS VEGAS, NV — What began as a spontaneous journey of self-discovery quickly devolved into a seven-hour psychological hostage situation Friday evening after 34-year-old full-stack engineer Cooper Greenman took LSD for the first time at the Las Vegas Sphere.
Witnesses report that Greenman pregamed on amyl nitrites at the Circus Circus Hotel and Casino in an ill advised bid to recreate the iconic bender portrayed in Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, only to end up taking an unknown quantity of LSD afterward at some point before entering The Sphere.
By the time the band kicked off their set, Greenman knew he had made a terrible mistake.
“Everyone thinks The Sphere is psychedelic Disneyland until they're pinned to their seat and melting into a pool of transdimensional goo,” said one veteran psychonaut who avoids dosing at The Sphere at all costs.
According to people standing nearby, the trouble for Greenman began immediately when the Sphere's 160,000-square-foot LED display synced up with the opening notes of the first song, sending him into a catatonic state from which he would not soon recover.
Friends say the situation deteriorated further when Greenman became convinced the Sphere was not merely a venue but an ancient extraterrestrial intelligence disguised as entertainment infrastructure.
Security personnel became concerned after he began removing his clothing and screaming about God having multiple identities, some of which were inside of him at that moment and needed to be ‘let out’. The fact that Greenman could be audibly heard above the noise of the show from across his section was also baffling to witnesses.
At one point Greenman reportedly became convinced that every casino on the Strip was a separate organ inside a single planetary superorganism and that the Sphere served as its central nervous system.
By midnight, the first-time psychonaut had reportedly achieved complete ego dissolution in the back of an ambulance, which turned out to be a more expensive set and setting than even a suite at the Bellagio given that it costs approximately $3500 for a 15-minute ride.
“Harm Reduction starts with telling your friends that they probably shouldn’t trip at The Sphere or a similar overstimulating environment their first time,” said a local harm reduction expert who asked not to be named.
“Just do the responsible adult thing and rack up some flight time in low-key environments like a National Park or a friends backyard before moving on to the big leagues.”