After months of cryptic social media posts and totally unnecessary NDAs, sources close to a prominent stealth startup in the psychedelic space have confirmed that the company’s founders are actually just working their way through a mountain of ketamine acquired with their 6 figure pre-seed friends and family round.
The startup, reportedly valued at $50 million - $100 billion depending on how deep in the K-hole the team is, has spent the last year operating out of a penthouse in Medellin, Colombia. Work days typically consist of group dissociation rituals disguised as a biohacking protocol referred to internally “Flow State 2.0”.
“They keep saying they’re in stealth because they’re waiting for the opportune product market fit scenario” said one former contractor. “But as far as I can tell, the core IP they’ve developed is a proprietary method for developing superhuman tolerance to ketamine…which honestly is probably a billion dollar product if they can coherently communicate how they’re doing it.”
Investors — mostly blood relatives — remain optimistic.
“Most people who experience a K-hole are terrified afterwards…but not our Darryl, he can go in again and again and still be ready to zoot some more tomorrow. That level of dedication to craft is rare,” said one of the Founders Uncles.
Internal documents obtained by Mycopreneur reveal the company has pivoted six times in three months, transitioning from decentralized wellness infrastructure to psychedelic AI therapy platform to it’s current incarnation as a ketamine telehealth startup. The market opportunity for the stealth startup currently exists entirely within the Medellin penthouse where its founders are based, making it a ‘circular economy enterprise’ according to the team.
“We’re coming out of stealth mode soon and holding our IPO shortly thereafter — which in our case will be an ‘Initial Psychedelic Offering’, says another one of the founders.
“We’ll invite all of our funders and supporters to join us in a massive ketamine binge,” said another founder. “That’s what community building is really about.”