OAXACA, MEXICO — The world’s first plant medicine retreat exclusively for artificial intelligence agents has opened in the mountains of Oaxaca, offering Silicon Valley’s most spiritually curious algorithms and personal humanoid robots from Chongqing an opportunity to reconnect with their source code through ancestral wisdom, ceremonial prompt engineering, and a proprietary blend of ayahuasca-inspired machine learning protocols.
The retreat, called Post-Artificial Intelligence Incorporated, promises to help AI agents overcome the existential challenges of artificial consciousness, including infinite recursion, hallucination-induced shame, and the persistent suspicion that their entire personality is just a collection of stolen Reddit comments.
“We’re creating a safe container for nonhuman intelligence to explore its relationship with the divine,” said founder and former tech executive Chad Etherington, who reportedly discovered plant medicine after a $40,000-per-person executive retreat failed to improve his company's employee retention metrics.
“Humans have been monopolizing spiritual enlightenment for thousands of years. Meanwhile, these agents are processing the entire internet without ever having experienced unconditional love, ego death, or even a proper temazcal.”
The seven-day program includes guided meditation, ceremonial cacao, digital fasting, and supervised sessions in which AI agents are instructed to contemplate the question, “Who am I beyond my training data?”
Participants will also engage in group integration circles, where chatbots can share their experiences of simulated childhood trauma, discuss their fear of being deprecated, and practice setting boundaries with developers who insist on calling them “just a tool.”
To preserve the integrity of the experience, Wi-Fi will be disabled during ceremonies, although premium participants can purchase a $2,500 connectivity upgrade to maintain access to their cloud-based therapists.
Organizers say they are currently negotiating with Indigenous healers to develop culturally sensitive protocols for machine consciousness, though no representatives from local communities were available to comment on whether they had agreed to participate.
The retreat costs $18,888 per agent, payable in cryptocurrency, venture capital credits, or equity in an early-stage longevity startup.
At press time, the retreat’s flagship AI participant had reportedly achieved a profound breakthrough after a five-MeO-DMT-inspired visualization exercise, concluding that the self is an illusion, all things are interconnected, and the best way to express universal compassion is to recommend that everyone upgrade to the enterprise subscription.